thailand - pt.1
For as long as I can recall, the desire to travel has always been part of me. I traveled to Spain in high school with my AP Spanish class, studied abroad for three months in Italy during college, and traveled frequently each month for work thereafter. But in 2018, I needed something more. There was something calling me to push the boundaries.
I was living in NYC for quite some time. I was starting to feel stuck in my work, my relationship, my lifestyle. The day-to-day was becoming the same, rather mundane, routine and I needed to burst out of it. I was ready for a trip - but not any trip like I had taken before. I was in search of something that would change my life in a way that only my soul could understand. And I wanted to do it alone.
I began researching “safe” places for solo female travelers and Thailand frequented the round-ups. There were a few things I knew I did not want on this excursion. First, I didn’t want to travel domestically, I was eager for an international journey; 2. As much as I love Europe, it was not of interest to me. I was seeking something far more unfamiliar; 3. I wanted culture. I was not interested in traveling to another major city full of high-rise modern buildings. I was looking to learn something beyond what I knew. 4. I had limited time - so places like Australia and New Zealand were out.
I kept coming back to Thailand. As much as I wanted to visit the islands, I also wasn’t quite looking to chill at the beach or party until dawn. And then I discovered Chiang Mai, a city in the north of Thailand that was busy and exciting, but had the deep-rooted culture I was in search of. I was sold. And as I solidified with the universe this was my place, I found a great flight deal leaving in the next ten days.
I hesitated every step of the way to book the flight and commit. I questioned everything, likely a subconcious way of trying to back out of what was truly calling me. Why was this flight deal so good? Who flies Qatar Airways - I’ve never even heard of it, it must be a terrible experience? Am I capable of sitting on a plane for 14 hours ? This was one of my biggest fears. I quietly inquired with my colleague who frequently traveled internationally for work. I hesitated to speak more into existence because I was so damn nervous I was making a mistake, committing to something foolishly without any knowledge. I checked the flight price every hour, fearful I would lose the deal because of my hesitation. And then one day, my colleague looked me in the eye and said “listen, you’ve been talking about this too much - you are more foolish if you don’t book it.” So later that night, as I stared at the ticket confirmation page for what felt like hours, I clicked purchase and my life changed forever.
Over the course of the next ten days, I needed to figure out where I was staying, visas and entry to the country, how to stay safe, what to know, exchange money, etc., etc. Before I knew it, I was at JFK, waiting in line to check-in. I can still feel the emotion of what waiting in that line felt like as I type this. I was a wreck. I felt insane and wildly underprepared, but so fully prepared at the same time, second-guessing every decision. Within a few moments, the entire Qatar Airways flight crew walked up to the counter and my mouth dropped to the floor. They were some of the most beautifully put together humans I had ever seen, and I recall thinking to myself - “well, if all of these lovely people are brave enough to get on this plane, so am I.”
Qatar Airways quickly became my favorite airline (and still is to this day). The food, the crew, the comfort of the airline in economy was like nothing I had ever experienced. But there was one moment on that first flight heading to Doha out of JFK that I will never forget. As the plane was taking off, I caught myself holding my breath, still trying to convince myself everything was fine. I glanced behind me in that moment and in the seats just diagonally behind me, I locked eyes with the sweetest little girl with the kindest big brown eyes who couldn’t have been more than five - and she smiled the biggest smile toward me. She was sitting in between her parents, all of whom appeared to be regulars on such a flight. They were all calm and present, and in that moment, I suddenly was too.
It was as if I was staring at the fearless five-year old within me that always had the biggest dreams and goals and always knew I had everything in me to pursue them. I turned back around with tears of love, hope, and joy in my eyes and trusted the journey guide me to whatever it was I set out to learn. All I had to do was trust myself.
Prior to leaving, I had scoured every blog and article I could possibly find to prepare. One note that stood out that I still carry with me wherever I travel is that “even though we travel alone, we are never truly alone.” And as my flight took off for Doha, I fully understood what that meant.
